Today is World Mental Health Day, which was first celebrated in 1992.
That’s the year I turned 13, and had my nose broken by a family member in an “accident” at home.
Growing up, we didn’t talk about mental health.
My Dad was a Vietnam vet, a Green Beret & the son of a WWII vet.
Mom is the daughter of a Marine colonel who flew in WWII.
In the military world, many soldiers are afraid to admit to mental illness for fear it could compromise their career or show weakness.
In many jobs, you can be medically disqualified for being diagnosed with mental illness… Not to mention some toxic work environments where you’ll be taunted by your peers for any chink in your armor.
My Dad very very very likely had PTSD (not to mention other health issues from being sprayed with Agent Orange). The year before he passed away I asked him about his return from Vietnam and whether he had any counseling or support groups to help him deal with his experiences there. For the first time ever, he let his guard down and admitted to me that “no, they didn’t offer any of that stuff. It would have been helpful, but I’m not sure I would have taken advantage of it.”
So how do we get to a place where it’s okay to be vulnerable AND it’s honorable to work on your mental health?
Why are there gyms on every street corner but meditation centers are so scarce?
The idea of this might make you uncomfortable, but some of the best conversations I’ve had with my peers are when we can admit fear or vulnerability. Finding out so many other people are also going through the same issues I am having – with anxiety, depression and PTSD – has been so helpful for my recovery.
But there are still very dark and hopeless days.
A friend once told me, “the key to happiness for me lies in helping other people.”
And I realized that helps me too. Leaning on friends and family and lifting partners has been very helpful.
I’ve also sought “help” from exercise, food, sex, drugs, alcohol, medicine, hallucinogens, work, meditation, acupuncture, sensory deprivation tanks, chiropractors, psychiatrists, counselors, doctors…
It’s not a battle that I’ll ever stop fighting. I am constantly adapting and tinkering with what helps me get out of bed, what keeps me going, what keeps me from feeling numb, and what puts a smile on my face. So find the combination that works for you, and commit to working on yourself. Don’t stop.
Get professional help if you need it. Even if you can’t afford it, there are free and inexpensive resources out there. Find a local support group or a counselor who offers sliding-scale-fee-based sessions.
I’ve dealt with mental illness for most of my life and didn’t begin therapy until two years ago. It is very fucking uncomfortable… each week I am 5 minutes late for my session because inevitably I find a way to procrastinate and put off my self care. But it’s helping.
And yes, I realize that putting myself out there is risky. A health/strength/fitness industry professional has health/strength/fitness issues???
WELL I NEVER… HEAVENS TO BETSY. BLESS HER HEART!
But everyone is fighting with something. And if I expect my clients to be vulnerable with me, admit their fears and set honest goals, well then I’m going to be brave enough to share my shit publicly. If I lose a potential client over it, then so be it. We probably weren’t a good match anyway.
Work on yourself. It just takes a few minutes each day. And if you’re always working ONLY on physical training, try mixing in some mental health training as well (and vice versa).
Ask for help if you need it.
Let me know if you need to talk.
And keep fighting.
xoxo,
Lis Smash